Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

The funniest joke in the world

A scientific survey in 2002 attempted to find the funniest joke in the world. Thousands of people from dozens of countries voted on thousands of jokes. Each country had a different favorite. Overall, the number one and number two funniest jokes in the world, based on votes, are:
The funniest joke in the world:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS!

Here are some amazing and sometimes humorous facts about the fantastic world of animals.

There are only three animals with blue tongues: the black bear, the Chow Chow dog and the blue-tongued lizard.

Bonobos are the only non human primates that engage in oral sex, tongue kissing, and face-to-face genital sex.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

How to hide Elephant??

Only in America: A Video of drunken Bush!!

Ron Mueck: Hyper-Realist Sculptor!!

clipped from paintalicious.org

He so nearly captures that extra bit, what we call the soul or spirit, that flame inside that makes us ourselves. He takes one to the very edge of the idea of life, calls into question what it is to be a person, what it is to be human. – Marina Warner.

Ron Mueck

Ron Mueck is an Australian hyper-realist sculptor working in the UK. His incredible sculptures of creepy, grotesque, mottled skin and uncannily gigantic proportional figures have adorned the Millennium Dome as well as Charles Saatchi’s living room for a number of years now. It would be fair to say, Mueck’s one of the leading contemporary artists of today.

7 Underground Wonders of the World!!

What motivates humankind to burrow deep into the Earth? From London to Paris, Budapest to Moscow, the USA to Australia, here are seven of the most amazing examples in the world.

Funny Bull Riding!!

Joke: Now Bush goes to Heaven!!

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ?

At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.